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Recycle Reading Below Advertisement If you live that you're not a great grandam minivan and that you love that money is everything, I can only say: Sensuous do you do?.
Or as an alternative just sit in the shade of tree and stare up at the clouds to invoke a childhood sense of pareidolia. I always see rats and dragons when I look at the clouds, which in my own personal zodiac translates to Juliettes Blacck Da-veeds. I really miss you Juliette! Back to Step 01 with Maggot Brain who else? To gain the most out of this exercise find a portal in a shamanistic rock, or some other natural arch. Failing this go the closet place where the horizon appears unattainable. If you have the money and energy I cannot recommend highly enough a trip to Shamanka on Olkhon Island in Siberia, Russia.
The added benefit of going to Olkhon Island to scream you lungs out from a rock sacred to the indigenous Buryats is you can satisfy Step 04 at the same time.
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And the water is fucking freezing. But by immersing yourself in the celestial waters you are also said to be rewarded with years of health. I should note that as an alternative whisky can also be used for excising your demons, but it often has the adverse affect of making your demons burrow further down inside you — down deeper into your basement. Just like listening to depressing breakup albums and smoking bushels of dope there is another way.
This is because a lot of people fail to acknowledge that human beings are arc reactors for emotions — with a predilection for transforming positivity into negativity, and negativity into more negativity. I think everyone should work way harder at dispelling the Dukkha of everyday trivialities, which inhibit our discriminating mind from finding a path towards enlightenment. In my experience this tends to have a cumulative effect of just pissing them off as Black granney fuckers. So to initiate this reversal of emotional output put down the cloying romcom, which only serves to perpetuate delusions that one-in-a-million-chances and happy endings can happen in real life.
Instead pick up a bromance movie which captures the caustic repartee and witty palaver between best friends like Pineapple Express, or Hot Tub Time Machine. As I said, it comes down to making good choices. Although this defers to Step 05 I do realise it may sound a bit aberrant and contradictory to… well most of what I said. But make no mistake: Your "job" -- the useful thing you do for other people -- is all you are. There is a reason why surgeons get more respect than comedy writers. There is a reason mechanics get more respect than unemployed hipsters.
Tyler said, "You are not your job," but he also founded and ran a successful soap company and became the head of an international social and political movement. He was totally his job. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Or think of it this way: Remember when Chick-fil-A came out against gay marriage? And how despite the protests, the company continues to sell millions of sandwiches every day?
It's not because the country agrees with them; it's because they do their job of making delicious sandwiches Blaxk. And that's all that matters. You don't have to like it. I don't like it when it rains on my birthday. Clouds form and precipitation happens. People have needs and thus assign value to the people who fucjers them. These are simple mechanisms of the universe and they do not respond to our wishes. Continue Reading Below Advertisement If you protest that you're not a shallow capitalist materialist and that you disagree that money is Blaack, I can only say: Who said anything about money? You're missing the larger point.
The demographic that Cracked writes fudkers is heavy on something males. So on our message boards and in my many inboxes I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won't come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world these days, they've adopted the name, "Incels". I can explain what is wrong with this mindset, but it would probably be better if I let Alec Baldwin explain it: Continue Reading Below Advertisement In this case, Baldwin is playing the part of the attractive women in your life. They won't put it as bluntly as he does -- society has trained us not to be this honest with people -- but the equation is the same.
Who gives a shit? Because the girl in the bookstore that you've been daydreaming about moisturizes her face for an hour every night and feels guilty when she eats anything other than salad for lunch. She's going to be a surgeon in 10 years. What do you do? Continue Reading Below Advertisement "What, so you're saying that I can't get girls like that unless I have a nice job and make lots of money? I'm asking what do you offer? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don't say that you're a nice guy -- that's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding in the street.
Do you know how to operate or not?
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Continue Reading Below Advertisement "Well, I'm not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags! There's a witty, handsome guy with a promising career granneey to step in and operate. Does that break your heart? OK, so now what? Are you going to mope about it, or are you going to learn how to do surgery? It's up to you, but don't complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. Because you're willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be?